I Can't Always Just Forget Him
by KobraPartyGhoul
Summary: Frank and Gerard erase each other from their memories once they realize their relationship is over, but, as they start to lose the moment they shared, they realize what they had to begin with. Eternal Sunshine Crossover
1. Looks Like Nothing's Gonna Change

This is my first Frerard story, so be kind. None of this ever happened, I do not own any character etc etc.

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Sitting On The Dock Of The Bay" by Otis Redding

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

Please Review! This story WILL continue, this is one of many chapters! I will update soon. If you follow me on tumblr you will get told exactly when I am posting the next chapter! Thanks for reading :D

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter One:

Looks Like Nothing's Gonna Change

* * *

Gerard slowly opens his eyes and takes in his surroundings. The world looks so bleak today, the sky is grey and there's almost no light coming in through the windows. He lies in bed for a while debating whether he should get up or not. His head is pounding and his vision is blurry like he's suffering from a massive hangover, but he's pretty sure he didn't go out last night. With a heavy sigh, Gerard sits up, wipes his hair away from his face and kicks the covers off. It's another good minute before he even stands up to get ready for the day. Gerard's pretty used to being depressed, but today is different, he doesn't feel sad, just...empty, like something's missing. He stumbles into the bathroom, brushes his teeth, takes a quick shower, and finds some clothes that don't smell like something's growing on them.

By the time he makes it outside to his car, it's only eight o' clock. Gerard never wakes up this early and it makes him wonder what it is about this day that is making everything so different from the last. He fumbles for his keys in his pocket and only ends up dropping them on the ground, causing him to look down and see the huge dent some asshole left in the side of his car.

"Great, just what I fucking needed," he sighs.

He looks around and notices the car to his right has some major damage to the front bumper. There's no doubt in this mind that this is the car that belongs to the prick who damaged his own Subaru. He reaches into his black messenger bag, rips out a piece of paper from his sketchbook, scribbles a quick "Thank You!",and puts it under the car's windshield wiper before getting into his crippled car and driving off.

Gerard makes it to the train station just before he's supposed to be there. Looking around, he sees hundreds of people bundled up in coats and carrying briefcases, all wearing the same grim expression on their faces. They're probably just pissed off they have to work on Valentine's Day. Gerard's never given a shit about the holiday, and not just because he's never had someone to spend it with. However, he's pretty sure greeting card companies invented the day of romance just to make people like him feel like crap for being alone. He looks around the terminal and realizes how badly he wants to escape the dull routine he's got going on. Without thinking, he turns around and runs to the other side of the station, where the last train set to leave for Jersey is about to close its doors.

After the hour-long ride it takes to get from Penn Station to Jersey Avenue, it's snowing and the day looks even more depressing. He spots a payphone and thinks he better call his work before he gets in big trouble for skipping the day.

"Gabe? Hey, I'm not gonna be able to make it in today, I'm sick," he lies while trying to cover the mouthpiece so he can be heard over the wind.

"Oh man, really? What's wrong?" Gabe sounds disbelieving, as he should.

"Food poisoning. I would've called earlier but I haven't stopped throwing up all morning, I should be better by tomorrow."

Gabe tells him to get rest and that he better be in tomorrow morning. Gerard scoffs and hangs up the phone before catching a taxi to the beach. He doesn't know why he picked the coldest day of the fucking year to take a leisurely stroll on the shore, but he folds his arms around himself and braves the biting weather. Once he's bored with the scenery, Gerard sits on a rock and pulls out his sketchbook, there's some pages ripped out. He doesn't really remember doing that, but, whatever, he's done worse things without remembering them.

_January 13, 2005._

_I skipped work today and took the train down to Jersey. It's cold, the sky is grey. I don't know what else to write. Nothing ever happens. Nothing ever changes. I saw Bert last night. We had sex. It's weird how we can fall back into the old familiar sex life so easily, like no time has passed. After two years apart, we're suddenly talking about getting back together again. Guess that's good. _

Gerard closes his sketchbook and looks up at the grey, now cloudy, sky. As he's looking around the beach, he spots a figure walking along the shore in a red hoodie. It's almost as if the person is walking towards him. He can't help but to think how much the figure stands out against the grey backdrop. As the figure gets closer, Gerard opens up his sketchbook and pretends to write again, hoping he'll be left alone. After a few minutes, no one comes to bother him and he sees the figure walking in the opposite direction, stopping to stare at the ocean. He realizes it's a man, he actually thought it was a woman or a small kid from how short the guy was. Gerard looks back down at his sketchbook and actually begins writing again.

_It's as if I'm completely incapable of making eye-contact with someone I don't know. I guess I better get back with Bert after all._

Gerard closes his sketchbook and packs it away in his bag and goes back down to the shore. He finds a stick and starts digging in the sand with it. "Sand is overrated," he thinks before tossing the stick into the ocean and heading up towards the diner.


	2. You're A Heart Attack In Black Hair Dye

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back" by My Chemical Romance

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Two:

You're A Heart Attack In Black Hair Dye

* * *

The diner is small, old, and practically empty. It's a tourist place but since it's off-season, no one really bothers to visit. Gerard sits in the booth closest to the door and asks the waitress for some chicken noodle soup and a cup of coffee. As he looks around, he sees the familiar bright red hoodie he saw earlier that day. It isn't really the hoodie that interests him though, it's the guy who's wearing it. He has black hair with this insane red on the sides, it looks pretty cool. Gerard watches as the guy puts his own cup of coffee on the seat next to him and tries to hide the fact that he's pouring alcohol into it. Since Gerard just became sober after years of alcohol abuse, he tries to look away, but is too enthralled by the strange man to do anything about it. The guy catches Gerard staring and brings his cup to his lips, winks, and takes a drink. Gerard quickly looks down and pulls out his sketchbook, trying to appear busy.

_Why do I fall in love with every person who shows me the tiniest bit of attention?_

Gerard watches as the short guy gets up from his booth and waltzes out the door. Once he's finished with his food, Gerard shoves his sketchbooks back into his bag, leaves a tip on the table, and heads back to the train station. His adventure for the day was over.

Gerard sits on a bench to wait for the train. He reaches in his coat pocket and pulls out a pack of cigarettes, takes one stick out, lights it, and shoves the rest back into pocket. As he's taking in his surroundings, he sees the man in the red hoodie coming towards him. Gerard breathes out a puff of smoke and sees the guy smile painfully big while waving enthusiastically. _"This weirdo is acting like he knows me, what the fuck? Wait...does he know me?" _Gerard waves back timidly before throwing his cigarette on the ground and stepping on it. The guy sits on a bench on the far side of the platform. Gerard stares at him for a moment before taking out his sketchbook and staring at it, trying to conceal his awkwardness.

By the time the train comes, Gerard has already done a full sketch of the strange hooded man. He cannot help but to notice a tattoo poking out from the edge of the guy's hoodie. He also notices the lip ring he has in, it's incredibly hot. Great, now he feels like a creeper. Gerard sighs, grabs his stuff, and boards the train, finding a seat far away from any other person. Right before the doors shut, the strange guy jumps onto the train and sits at the opposite end of the car. Gerard looks out the window, tries to look like he's zoned out, but he can feel the strange man watching him, and it's a bit unnerving. After a while, Gerard hears a faint sound like someone talking and realizes it might be directed at him. He looks up to see the strange person looking at him expectedly.

"I'm sorry?" Gerard tries not to look awkward with his response.

"Why?" is all the guy says.

Gerard looks at him like he's nuts and spits out, "Why, what?"

"Why are you sorry? I just said hi."

"No, I didn't know if you were talking to me or not so..."

The strange man looks around at the empty car before raising an eyebrow and asking, "Really? Dude, we're the only ones in here."

Gerard blushes. "I didn't wanna assume."

The guy laughs before saying, "Aw c'mon, live dangerously. Assume someone is talking to you in an otherwise empty car."

"Okay, sorry again, hi," Gerard sputters.

The guy gets up and starts walking towards Gerard. "Is it okay if I move closer so I don't have to scream? Not that I don't like screaming once in a while...But I don't wanna bug you if you're drawing or anything."

Gerard clears his throat. "Well uh I probably won't think of much to say so..."

"Oh well," the guy stops in the middle of the car and bites his lip, looking unsure.

"I mean," Gerard waves his hands around. "You can sit here if you want, I didn't mean to sound like an ass."

"Hey man, I don't wanna bug you if-"

"No, no, it's okay, really." Gerard smiles and tries to look nice.

"Okay, just to ya know..chat a little, maybe. I've got a long ride ahead of me and didn't bring anything to pass the time." The man sits across the aisle from Gerard and tries to not look as awkward as he feels.

"So, how far you goin? I mean, how far are you traveling?"

"Rockville Center."

"Get out! Me too! What are the odds?" The guy looks too excited that he and Gerard are going to the same place.

"The weirdest part is that I think I recognize you. I thought so earlier in the diner. That's why I was looking at you. You work at Guitar Center, right?"

"Oh man, really? That's so cool! What a small world! I've been a guitar slave there for like five years!" He looks so thrilled that Gerard recognized him.

"Really? Because-"

"Jesus! Has it been five years? I gotta quit soon." The guy said, mostly to himself.

"-because I go there all the time. I don't think I ever saw you before."

"Well I'm there, I hide in the back as much as humanly possible. You got a cell? I gotta quit right now. I'll call in dead."

"Uh no, I don't have one," Gerard laughs.

"I'll start a band, just like my grandfather!"

"I noticed your hair. It's pretty rad. I guess that's what made the impression on me."

"Ahh, the hair," the guy shakes his head, making some black strands fall in front of his eyes. "Black and red, right? The red is called Red Menace. Pretty catchy name, huh?"

Gerard smiles. "Yeah, I like it."

"This company makes a whole line of colors with equally cool names. Blue Ruin, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution. That'd be a kick ass job! That's what I'll do, come up with names. Fuck the band."

"I don't really know how-"

"Purple Haze, Pink Eraser."

"Do you think there could be a job like that? There's only so many colors, I mean. I'm an artist, and I know all about colors but there's not _that_ many."

The guy suddenly looked pissed off, offended somehow. "Somebody's got that job."

Gerard was about to apologize when the man's face completely changed into an impossibly excited one.

"Agent Orange! I came up with that one! Anyway, there are endless color possibilities! I'd be great at a job like that."

"I'm sure you would-"

"My writing career! Your hair written by Frank Iero."

"You don't look like a Frank."

"Yeah well I am one! Ya know, I've tried all of their colors. Every single fucking one. More than once, too. I'm getting too old for this. It keeps me from having to develop an actual personality. I apply my personality in a paste. You?"

"I highly doubt that's true," Gerard snickers.

"Well you don't know me. So you don't know, do you?" He was back to being pissed.

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to be nice, I-"

"Yeah, I got it, okay?"

There was an awkward silence for a long time.

"I'm Frank, by the way," the guy said while offering a hand to Gerard.

"I'm Gerard," he says while shaking Frank's hand.

"No jokes about my height, okay? Oh wait. You wouldn't do that, you're trying to be nice."

"I don't really know how someone would joke about your height so.."

"Whatever, just don't think I won't kick your ass just because I'm small," Frank says with a smirk.

"See, I wouldn't think that about you."

"Why wouldn't you think that about me?" Frank shouted, once again going from happy to pissed off in a matter of seconds.

"I uh...I just...you seem nice so..." Gerard stuttered.

"Oh, now _I'm _nice? Jesus! Don't you know any other adjectives? There's careless and snotty and overbearing and argumentative...mumpish."

"Uhm...sorry."

They sit in silence for a long time, Gerard feeling extremely uncomfortable.

"I just don't think that nice is an interesting thing to be. What is nice anyway? I mean besides an adjective. I guess it can be an adverb...sort of. It doesn't reveal anything. Nice is pandering, cowardly. Life is more interesting than that. Or, it should be. Jesus, I hope it is. I don't need to be nice and I don't need anyone to be it at me," Frank says without pausing for a breath.

"Okay," is all Gerard can think to say.

Gerard tries not to look as Frank reaches into his bag and pulls out the small bottle of alcohol he had at the diner. Frank takes a quick drink and offers Gerard some and it takes everything he has in him to refuse.

"Gerard? It is Gerard, right?" Frank asks while putting away the bottle.

"Uh, yeah."

"I'm sorry for yelling at you. Could that be considered yelling? I can't really tell. Anyway, I'm just a little fucked up today."

"That's okay, I'm in the same boat as you," Geard replies.

Frank looks out the window and begins to talk again. "My embarrassing admission is that I really like that you're nice. Right now, anyway. I can't really tell what I'm going to like from one minute to the next. But right now, I'm glad that you said it's okay. That was..._nice_ of you."

"It's no problem...anyway I have some stuff I have to-"

"Oh!" Frank stands up and throws his bag over his shoulder. "Well sure, I'll just...well...take care then!"

Gerard pulls his sketchbook from his messenger bag and says, "I'll probably see you at the store, unless you get the color naming job."

Frank only smiles and stares out the window. Once Gerard gets into his rhythm drawing, he hardly notices Frank inching towards him and watching him closely until the train finally pulls into the station. They both smile at each other and step onto the platform, going different ways.


	3. Pretty Handsome Awkward

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Pretty Handsome Awkward" by The Used

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It. This week, it's more based on just the song title, not so much the lyrics.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Three:

Pretty Handsome Awkward

* * *

Gerard slowly walks to his car and gets in before he can think about the big ass dent on the side. He starts the engine and drives slowly down the street, passing by dozens of brightly lit shops. As he looks out his window, he sees a very cold looking Frank walking down the boulevard. He pulls over, rolls down his window, and whistles to get Frank's attention.

"Hey, I could, uh, give you a ride if you want," Gerard shouts over the loud roar of traffic.

Frank stops and looks at Gerard before saying, "Uh, no thanks, man. I don't wanna take you out of your way or anything."

"Are you sure? It's fucking freezing. It'd be no trouble at all," Gerard pushes.

Frank bites his lip ring and thinks for a minute. "You know what? Yeah, I could use a ride."

Gerard unlocks the doors and waits for the shorter man to get in, then begins driving again.

"So, where do you live?" Gerard asks while turning up the car's heat.

"You're not a stalker or anything right? You're not gonna drive me home, follow me in, and then saw my head off or anything?"

Gerard looks at Frank and is about to laugh before he realizes the guy isn't joking.

"Well, I probably wouldn't admit that I was a stalker, but, no, I'm not."

Frank breathes out a sigh and says, "You can't be too careful. I have been stalked before. I've been told I'm highly stalkable. I don't need that shit today."

"I'm not a stalker. I mean, you talked to me first, right? If anyone's the stalker, it's you."

"That is the oldest trick in the stalker book!"

Gerard raises one eyebrow questioningly. "Oh really now? There's a stalker book? I'll have to check that out"

Frank laughs before asking, "You know Wilmont? Near the high school?"

Gerard turns the corner and they drive in silence for a while.

"Look," Frank begins, "I'm sorry if I came off kind of nutso, I'm not really."

"Nah, it's okay, I don't think you're nuts," Gerard smiles.

They remain quiet for a while before Frank turns on the radio and the sound of Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" comes on.

"Hey, man! Misfits! I fuckin' love them!" Frank says excitedly.

"Really? They're one of my favorites."

They both begin to sing along before Gerard pulls onto Wilmont and waits for Frank to direct him to which house he lives in.

"This is me," Frank says as he points to a torn up looking apartment building.

Gerard pulls over and Frank gets out of the car and says, "Thanks for the ride, that was very nice of you."

"Well, I wouldn't want to be-"

"Oh jeez, I'm full of shit. I already told you that. Anyway, see ya!"

"Take care," Gerard shouts before turning the car on again.

Frank turns around and leans in through the passenger side window. "You wanna come upstairs? I have lots of drinks. I could-"

"Uhm..."

Frank's eyes widen and he quickly spits out, "Never mind. I'm sorry, that was stupid. I'm embarrassed now. Fuck, goodnight, Gerard."

* * *

Somehow, Gerard finds himself in Frank's tiny apartment. He sits on the beaten up couch in the living room and tries to busy himself by looking around while Frank makes them some drinks. There's not much to look at, just an ancient television, a pretty pathetic movie collection with only horror movies, and a ceiling fan that hasn't been dusted off in what looks like months. Gerard fixes his hair and tries to see what Frank is doing in the kitchen when he sees six guitars lining the wall behind him. How did he not notice that before? They're all in perfect condition and they all have random stickers on the bodies. The one that catches Gerard's eye the most is white with "PANSY" spelled out in silver shimmering stickers. That's all he has time to notice before Frank comes in with a drink in each hand.

"Two whiskey sours," says Frank as he hands Gerard one of the drinks.

"Thanks," Gerard mumbles as he stares at a black and white photograph of crows flying.

"You like that?"

"Very much...it's beautiful."

"Someone gave that to me, I love it. I think I used to be a crow in another life," Frank caws and then laughs before taking a huge gulp of his drink.

"That was a good crow sound," Gerard laughs.

"Do you believe in that stuff? Reincarnation?"

Gerard thinks for a moment but before he can answer, Frank butts in.

"Me neither, man. Hey, look. There's an inscription on the back. The way a crow/Shook down on me/The dust of snow/From a hemlock tree/Has given my heart/A change of mood/And saved some part/Of a day I rued."

"Frost?"

Frank looks impressed at Gerard's knowledge. "Yeah, I'm not like a huge fan of him or anything but this made my cry for some reason."

"It's very pretty…" Gerard trails off before taking a sip from his own cup.

"What the fuck is that? Don't you like your drink? Down that shit, live a little," Frank commands as he gulps down the rest of his own whiskey sour.

Gerard hesitates before downing all that's left in his cup.

"That's it, drink up, it will make the whole seduction process less awkward," Frank wriggles his eyebrows and Gerard's eyes go wide. "Oh come on, I was just kidding," Frank quips as he sits next to Gerard.

Gerard looks over at Frank and lets his eyes wander down to his crotch before quickly looking away, blushing.

"You're nervous around me, huh?"

"I am," Gerard admits.

"You don't need to be nervous around me. I like you. Do you think I'm repulsively fat?"

"No, not at all."

"I don't either. I used to, but I've gotten over it," Frank says, before throwing in a quick change of subject. "So I've been seeing this guy recently-"

Gerard's face falls a bit.

"Just for the past week! He's kind of a goofball. He's the one who gave me the crow photograph. We went up to Boston because I wanted to lay on the Charles River, it's frozen this time of year."

"That sounds freaky," Gerard replies.

"Exactly! So Pete and I drove up there and he said nice things and he was super sweet but I was kinda disappointed to be there...with him. It just didn't feel right, ya know?"

"I think so..."

"You should come up to the Charles River with me some time, I could pack a night picnic, they're different than day picnics," Frank says as he scoots closer to Gerard and lays his head on his shoulder.

Gerard becomes visibly shy and whispers, "I should be going..."

"You should stay."

"I have to get up early in the morning so," Gerard says as he stands up and reaches for his coat.

"You should call me sometime. Would you do that? I'd like it," Frank says as he quickly scribbles his number down on a piece of paper and hands it to Gerard.

"You know..." Gerard shifts nervously from foot to foot. "I don't think your personality comes in a tube, the hair is just a pretty topping."

Frank pauses, smiles, and stands on his toes to kiss Gerard on the cheek. "So, you should call me tonight so we can test the phone lines."

"Okay..." is all Gerard can think to say before he leaves Frank's house, gets in his car, and drives home.


	4. I Call Your Name, But You're Not There

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "I Call Your Name" by The Beatles

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It. This week, it's more based on just the song title, not so much the lyrics.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Four:

I Call Your Name, But You're Not There

* * *

Once Gerard reaches his apartment building, he locks the door, takes off his jacket, and sits on his bed thinking of what to do next. Then he remembers something he promised. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out the piece of paper with Frank's number on it, and dials. "Fuck," he thinks, "what am I even going to say?"

"What took you so long?"

Gerard smiles and says, "I just walked in."

"Oh, really? Ya miss me?"

"Actually, I do." Gerard lays down to get more comfortable.

"Good. Tomorrow night we're going to the Charles River." Frank states like its already set plans.

"I'm not so sure if-" is all Gerard gets out before he hears the dial tone. Frank hung on up him. He sighs, sets down the phone, and goes to sleep without another thought.

* * *

"Come ON, you wuss! It's safe! I promise," Frank says as he reaches for Gerard's hand.

"I don't know, man. What if the ice breaks and we fall through?"

"That won't happen, and if it did, you can say you died doing something fun."

Gerard takes Frank's hand and slowly steps onto the frozen river. It's so slippery that he's afraid he's going to fall, but Frank has a tight grip on him.

"Whoa, it's gorgeous out here," Gerard exclaims as he takes in the vastness of the frozen river and all of the surrounding trees.

"Isn't it? I told you!" Frank lets go of Gerard's hand and runs onto the ice before falling flat on his ass.

"Holy shit, are you okay?" Gerard asks while cautiously making his way towards Frank.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Frank mumbles before reaching up for Gerard's hand and pulling him down onto the ice. "Lay down with me so we can look at the stars." Frank lays back and tugs on Gerard's jacket so he'll do the same and smiles once he finally complies. They spend all night naming constellations and talking about random shit like movies, music, and anything else that comes to their minds.

* * *

Gerard pulls in front of Frank's apartment and looks over to see the other man asleep. He lightly nudges Frank's shoulder to wake him up.

"Hey, I didn't wanna wake you but, we're here so," Gerard says once Frank looks awake enough to understand him.

"Oh, yeah, it's okay. Uhm…" Frank chews on his lip ring. "Can I stay at your place to sleep? I'm so tired."

Gerard's eyes widen. "Uh sure, I mean, if you want."

"Cool, just let me grab my toothbrush." Frank opens the car door and jogs up to his apartment.

Gerard lays his head against his seat and closes his eyes before hearing a knock at the window. "What the…?"

"Can I help you?"

Gerard blinks at the strange, raven-haired man. "Uh, what do you mean?"

"Can I help you with something?" The guy shifts his bag on his shoulder and waits for an answer.

"No…" Gerard is pretty convinced the guy is out of his mind.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm not really sure what you're asking me."

The man looks even more confused than Gerard does before mumbling an "Oh, thanks," and walking away.

* * *

**Three Days Earlier**

Gerard turns off the lights and looks out his window. It looks as if snow is falling only under a dim streetlight across the street. When he looks to the left, he spots a large white van with two people sitting in it. He squints to get a better look at the two dark figures when one of them rolls down the van's window, tosses a cigarette out, and waves at Gerard with a smile.

"He's waving? I'm like a fucking joke to them." He says bitterly as he closes the blinds and starts pacing the room. "I guess they figure they can act however the fuck they want. Not like I'm gonna remember it."

Gerard reaches into the shopping bag he threw on his bed, pulls out a prescription bottle, and dumps two pills into his hand. The pills were pink with the initials AL 1718 on them. He had no clue what they were; he really doesn't like taking pills when he has no idea what they are or what they'll do to him. "Fuck it," he thinks and downs the pills with a drink of water.

He peeks through the blinds again to look at the van one more time before taking his clothes off and changing into his new pair of pajamas. Gerard throws the shopping bag onto the floor and reaches for his phone, dialing the familiar number.

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed is no longer in service. If you think you have reached this recording in error-"

"Fuck you, Frank. Fuck you for doing this to me." He sets his phone on his nightstand and lays down on his bed. Gerard closes his eyes and hears his apartment door opening, then closing, followed by footsteps. "It's them," he thinks. "It's too late to turn back now."


	5. Almost Convinced That We Never Happened

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Florida Plates" by Pencey prep

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It. This week, it's more based on just the song title, not so much the lyrics.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

From now on, everything written is from Gerard's memories, he is still sleeping in his room with the two strangers. There will be parts where we will go to scenes with the strangers doing things, but I will clarify those scenes. We will be jumping from memory to memory, so if you see a line break (the long bars), that will signal a certain memory. I will also say what the memory is (the place, who's there) so there isn't much confusion.

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Five:

Almost Convinced That We Never Happened

* * *

Gerard paces the floor of Bob and LynZ's apartment, explaining the day's events through tears and confusion.

"When he didn't call for a few days, I thought he was just busy or something. So after work, I went to the Avalon Exchange, looking for something to get him, like an apology gift. I found this pair of fingerless gloves with skeletal hands printed on them and I knew they'd be perfect. I bought them, wrapped them in a box, and went to Guitar Center.

* * *

**Living The Memory**

Gerard stands near the door at Guitar Center, watching Frank stack random beginner's guides. Frank's hair is a weird mix of orange and off-blonde. "Maybe I should just talk to him," Gerard thinks before adjusting his shoulder bag in preparation to approach Frank. "I love you. Maybe if I just explained what happened...we could fix this." Right before Gerard makes it to Frank, a guy with back hair runs up and puts his hands over Frank's eyes.

"Guess who," he sings.

"Hmm...Dracula? Frankenstein? Wait no, the hands are too small and warm for that. Is it the cutest doctor's assistant in the world?" Frank reaches up to take the man's hands into his own and turns around with a smile.

Gerard's heart sinks as he realizes that's the look Frank used to have only for him.

"Hey, baby. I was in the neighborhood and decided to stop by."

Frank giggles and says, "You and I both know you weren't in the neighborhood."

"You're right, I just couldn't wait to see you," the raven-haired stranger says before leaning in to kiss Frank.

"Hey, uhm, excuse me?" Gerard taps Frank on the shoulder.

"Oh, sorry. Can I help you, sir?" Frank looks as if he has no idea who Gerard is.

Gerard stands in the middle of the showroom, speechless, before walking out of the store.

* * *

**Back at Bob and LynZ's**

"He didn't even know who I was, Bob. Did he get in an accident and get amnesia? What the fuck is going on?" Gerard still hasn't stopped pacing the floor as he rants.

"Hey man, maybe you should see this." Bob reaches into a drawer and pulls out a brown envelope.

"Bob! No! He can't!" LynZ rushes over and tries to free the envelope from Bob's grip.

"Well what's your fucking brilliant solution, LynZ? This is about Gerard! He deserves to know what the fuck Frank did to him!" LynZ looks from Bob, to Gerard, then back again.

"Fine, but if this fucks everything up, you take the blame," LynZ releases her hold on the envelope and storms out of the room.

"Here, man," Bob extends his hand and waves the envelope around, waiting for Gerard to take the hint. Gerard finally gives in and tears open the brown paper. There's a note inside.

_Frank Iero has had Gerard Way erased from his memory. Please never mention their relationship to him again. Thank you, Lacuna Inc_

Gerard states open mouthed at the letter. "What the fuck is this? Bob! Is this a fucking joke?"

"No, it's a place that does this thing." Bob looks to the floor.

Gerard stuffs the letter into his messenger bag and storms out of the apartment.

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment**

At home, Gerard grabs a phone book and looks through the "L" section until he finds what he's looking for.

_Lacuna Inc. We'll help you forget!_

Gerard writes down the address and sets his alarm so he can wake up early to find out what the fuck Frank was doing at a place that makes you forget things.


	6. I'm Taking Back The Life You Stole

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish" by My Chemical Romance

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Six:

I'm Taking Back The Life You Stole

* * *

**Memory Of Gerard's First Visit To Lacuna Inc.**

Gerard walks along the busy city streets looking for the Lacuna Inc address. It's cold as fuck and he wishes his car hadn't run out of gas that morning. He looks up and sees the numbers he was looking for; 610 11th Avenue. He puts the piece of paper he wrote the address on and opens the door to the building. It looks like a run-down apartment complex on the outside.

As he enters the office, Gerard sees a blonde haired kid with dorky glasses on the phone. The kid motions to Gerard that he'll be with him in a moment and continues to stamp brown envelopes and talk away. Gerard approaches the counter and waits until the kid decides to get off of the phone.

"Can I help you?" the kid asks as he pushes his glasses back onto his nose.

"I'm Gerard Way."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm Gerard. Way. I have an appointment with doctor-"

"Schechter. Here," the kid reaches for a pile of papers stacked to a clipboard. "Take this and fill this out."

"Oh, I just wanna talk to him, I don't want-"

"You still need to fill this out."

Gerard sighs and takes the clipboard and heads towards an empty chair.

"Thank you," the kid says as he reaches to answer the ringing phone.

After finishing the paperwork, Gerard waits for what seems like forever for someone to call his name.

"Mr. Way," the same kid with the glasses says as he smiles and holds open a door to a back room.

Gerard follows him as they walk through many hallways.

"So, how are you today?"

"Not too good, actually," Gerard notices that the walls are totally empty, no PHD licenses or anything.

"BOO!"

Gerard quickly ducks from the loud noise.

"Dammit, Ray! I've got a client here!"

"Sorry, Mikey. I was just bored and-" Ray, a taller man with large curly hair, looks to the floor as if he were ashamed.

"It's fine, just act normal during business hours." Mikey looks back to Gerard and motions for him to continue following him through a large office door.

Mikey hands a clipboard to a man in a white lab coat before leaving the room.

"So, Mr. Way. It says here that you aren't interested in our procedure. What brings you in today?"

Gerard isn't sure how to answer, so he hands the man the letter Bob gave him. The doctor's eyes widen.

"Shit. Mr. Way, I'm so sorry you had to see this. You weren't supposed to. Oh, I'm Dr. Schechter, by the way."

Gerard leans in closer to the doctor and whispers, "This is a hoax, right?"

"I assure you it isn't, I'm sorry."

"This kind of thing doesn't exist. You can't just wipe people's memories!"

"Look, Mr. Way. Our files are confidential, so I can't show you any proof. Let's just say Mr. Iero was not happy and he wanted to move on. We provided him with that possibility."

Gerard stares at the doctor without any idea of what to say next.

* * *

**At Bob and LynZ's After The Lacuna Visit (same day)**

"He wasn't happy. We provided him with the possibility to move on," Gerard is leaning against a wall while LynZ runs around the kitchen, trying to cook.

"Look, you know how Frank is. He's impulsive and he decided to remove you from his memory as if you were a lark or something."

"A lark. Fuck me. DID NOTHING WE HAD TOGETHER MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM?" Gerard stands up, grabs his coat, and heads down to his car.

* * *

**At Lacuna Inc. The 2nd Time (same day)**

"No, Mr. Way! You can't go in there! he's with a client!" Gerard has two people trying to push him away from Dr. Schechter's office door.

"I need to talk to him!" Gerard pushes through the restraining arms and marches through the door.

"I'm sorry Doctor, he just barged his way in here. I-"

"It's fine, Mikey, let him be."

"But there are people waiting!" The kid once again, pushes his glasses back up onto his face.

"I said it's okay, Mikey. Go back to work." Dr. Schechter smiles at the young kid and walks back into his office, shutting the door behind him.

"Now, Mr. Way, the first thing we need you to do is to go home and collect anything you own that has some association to Frank. We'll use these items to create a map of Frank in your brain. Clothing, photos, books, gifts he may have given you, cds you may have bought together, journal entires, everything. After the mapping is done, our technicians will do the erasing in your home tonight, that way, when you wake up, you will find yourself in your own home, in your own bed, as if nothing had happened. You'll have a new life awaiting you."

Gerard only nods as he listens to the doctor's instructions.

* * *

**At Gerard's House After The 2nd Visit (same day)**

Gerard starts with his sketchbooks, tearing out countless pages filled with drawings of Frank. Then he heads to his cd collection and starts ripping out dozens of cds. As he continues to rid his life of Frank, Gerard starts sobbing violently as he relives the memories of all they once were.

"We were so in love. What the fuck happened to us?" Gerard starts digging through the back of his closet, throwing random things into the trashbags he's using for Frank's stuff. He stops when he sees the black bead bracelet Frank had given him. He wonders if Frank threw away the other one when he got the treatment done.

"Fuck him."

Gerard sets the two very heavy trashbags by the door and waits until it's time for his return appointment later in the day.


	7. Thanks For The Memories

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Thnks Fr Th Mmrs" by Fall Out Boy

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Seven:

Thanks For The Memories

* * *

**Memory of Going Back To Lacuna For The Procedure**

Gerard walks slowly down the New York City streets with his two very heavy bags. His eyes are red and puffy from crying for the past few hours. He's not paying attention to anything and almost is run over by a dump truck when he tries to cross the street to Lacuna. Gerard opens the office door and sits down on an empty chair in the waiting room. A woman across from him is crying and looking down at the box in her lap, it's filled with random doggie care items. Mikey, the receptionist spots Gerard and covers the receiver to the phone to address him.

"Hello Mr. Way. Oh good, you've got your stuff, we'll be with you in a minute."

Several minutes pass before Mikey calls Gerard's name and leads him back to what looks like an operating room. Dr. Schechter is standing in the room with Ray, the guy who scared him earlier that day. "Great," he thinks. "Of all the people operating on my brain, this joker had to be it?"

"Mr. Way, this is Ray, he'll be in charge of your procedure today," Dr. Schechter nods in Ray's direction. "You can leave your bags here, we have some legal stuff to get out of the way before we can start," Dr. Schechter motions for Gerard to follow him as he walks back to his personal office.

Gerard sits in the chair across from the desk and waits for the doctor to say something.

"Now, I'm going to record this, and you need to tell me who you are, what you came to do, and answer any questions I may have in full." Gerard nods and begins to talk.

"I am Gerard Way and I'm here to have Frank Iero erased from my memory."

"Good, now tell me how you met Frank."

"I was living with this guy named Bert a few years ago and my friends Bob and LynZ invited us to this party at the beach. I hate parties, but I went even though Bert couldn't come. Nothing much happened, really, but that's how we met. He was there, I was there, and the rest is history."

"Okay," Dr. Schechter turns off the tape recorder and stands up again, walking back to the operating room. "You're in Ray's hands now; he'll take good care of you."

Ray motions for Gerard to sit on a chair that looks like something out of a salon.

"So uh…how exactly does this work?"

"We'll start with your most recent memories and go backwards. There's an emotional core to each of our memories and as we eradicate them, it starts the degradation process. When you wake up in the morning, all your memories will be gone." Ray talks as he marks random spots on Gerard's head with a marker.

"Is there any risk of brain damage?"

"The procedure itself is brain damage, but it's like a night of heavy drinking, nothing you'll miss."

Gerard looks around the room and sees everything getting dim and sort of fading away. He gets scared for a moment before he realizes what's happening. "Wait! It's happening right now! I'm already in my brain!"

Ray looks around at the eroding environment. "Yeah, I guess you are. Now let's get started." He puts electrodes on Gerard's temples and reaches into one of the trash bags. "We're going to use the stuff you brought to create a map of Frank in your brain and tonight, we'll follow the map and erase everything."

"But you're already erasing, you've done this." Gerard knows what is happening, but it's too much for his brain to comprehend. He watches as Ray sets a snow globe into the counter in front of him. He looks at it and remembers the trip he and Frank took to the coast.

"Good readings from that, okay, next item." This time Ray sets a hamster cage, still in the box, onto the counter. Gerard can't help but smile and laugh at himself for thinking he was going to actually buy a pet and manage to keep it alive.

Gerard notices the room becoming vague and wispy as Ray continues to put item after item in front of him.

"Hey, Pete, do me a favor-" Gerard is looking right at Ray, but he's not talking, his lips aren't moving, but he continues to hear his voice. "-and check the voltage levels, I'm not wiping as clean as I would like here." Ray's voice isn't coming from the man himself, but from above Gerard.

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment, That Night**

Gerard is laying on his bed in his pajamas, his eyes are closed and random electrodes are sticking to the side of his head. Ray is dressed in jeans and an Iron Maiden t-shirt and is holding a joystick in his hand, tracing lines on the screen of a monitoring of Gerard's brain. Pete is looking at another monitor next to him.

"The voltage looks fine, man."

"Then check the connections," Ray orders, never once looking away from the monitor.

Pete fiddles with some random buttons. "Does that help?"

"Yeah, that's perfect, thanks."

* * *

**Back In The Lab At Lacuna, During Gerard's Memory Tracing**

Ray puts a stack of papers in front of Gerard. "Ah, your journal, this will be invaluable." Ray picks up a random page and begins to read. "December 15, 2003. I met someone tonight. Oh fuck, I don't know what to do. His name is Frank and he's amazing. So alive and spontaneous and passionate and sensitive. Things with Bert and I have been stagnant for so long." Ray sets down the page and looks at a monitor. "I think we've got this one, let's go on."

Gerard looks up at the ceiling as he hears a voice above him yet again.

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment, That Night**

"It's kind of a dump, don't ya think?" Pete is walking around Gerard's apartment, looking through random things.

Ray is staring at the monitor, not paying any attention to Pete. "It's an apartment, how is it supposed to look?"

"It's just so plain, empty, uninspired."

"Pete, let's just get through this, we have a long night ahead of us. "

"Yeah, okay." Pete returns to his seat between the monitors and Gerard's bed before staring at the unconscious man. "Who do you think is better looking, me or this guy?" Ray gives Pete a questioning look and doesn't answer before he looks back at the screen and continues his work.


	8. Wait Until It Fades To Black

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Hang 'Em High by My Chemical Romance. This is mainly just by the one lyric, not the entire song.

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Eight:

Wait Until It Fades To Black

* * *

**In Gerard's Office-Day**

Gerard gets off of the elevator and approaches the receptionist. _So then he__ just stops calling. I wasn't going to call him. Not after the way he acted_, he thought to himself. "Any messages, Alicia?"

The receptionist shakes her head and Gerard sighs heavily and walks to his studio. The next day, Gerard approaches Alicia again. "Any messages, Ali-"

"Nothing, Gerard. Sorry." She looks honestly sorry about it.

_It's bullshit_, he thought. _He's punishing me for being honest with him_. Gerard went into his studio and picked up the phone. The mechanic voice reminded him that he had no new messages so he hung up, frustrated.

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment-That night**

Gerard sits on his bed and checks his machine: No Messages. "That's it! I'm just gonna-" Gerard dials Frank's number. "I'm gonna tell him I'm through playing games and-"

"The number you have dialed has been disconnected."

-Gerard's apartment after he finds out about the memory erasing.

Gerard paces his apartment before sitting on his bed and pulling out a dictionary.

_Lacuna: Noun. A blank, a missing portion, especially in a manuscript._

Gerard picks up the phone and calls LynZ and begins arguing about what he saw earlier in her apartment.

"Gerard, you can't just tell him. I've told you that already. It'd be like waking a sleepwalker. It could have a devastating effect. Think about it, to be told you had lived an existence and to have no recollection of it."

Gerard began pacing around his apartment again. "But what am I supposed to do?"

"Move on, sweetie."

"How can I? How can I move on when I'm the only one to carry this love we had? How can I do it?"

* * *

**Lacuna-The Day Of Gerard's First Visit**

Gerard gets off the elevator at the sixth floor, searching for a room number. As he turns the corner, he sees that the hallway is faded, vague, and mostly erased. He keeps walking until he comes to the door marked, "Lacuna," and opens it. Inside he can see the vague, erased version of Mikey the receptionist.

"Hi, may I help you?" Mikey's voice is a dead monotone.

The degraded, faded memory allows Gerard to detach himself from his mind and hear what's going on in his bedroom.

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment-During His Memory Erasing**

Ray is still watching the monitors as Pete sits on the bed with Gerard.

"So, Mikey's coming over tonight," Ray says as he works the joystick.

Gerard looks up, unable to move the rest of his body.

"Yeah?" Pete asks.

"Just wanted to let you know."

"I like Mikey. I like when he comes to visit. I just don't think he likes me much."

Ray rolls his eyes, "He likes you just fine."

Pete plays with Gerard's comforter. "I wonder if I should invite my boyfriend over, too. I have a boyfriend now. Did I tell you?"

R ay moves the joystick around more. "That memory's gone. And you can invite him if you want. But no, you didn't tell me."

"Oh." Pete looks visibly nervous. "The thing is...my situation is a little weird. My boyfriend situation."

"Pete, we need to focus." Ray aims the joystick at the screen pointedly, making Pete go quiet.


	9. Don't Walk Away

All Of My Chapter Titles Are Based On Song Names You Can Look Up The Songs On Youtube. This Week's Chapter Is Based On The Song- "Summertime" by My Chemical Romance.

If You Listen To The Lyrics, You Will Hopefully Understand Why I Named This Chapter After It.

Tumblr: KobraPartyGhoul

And

My Beta's Tumblr: holygaskarthonatricycle

* * *

I Can't Always Just Forget Him

Chapter Nine:

Don't Walk Away

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment-Night**

Gerard sits on his couch, distractedly reading a book. He checks the clock and then goes back to reading. The door opens, causing him to jump and look up to see Frank staggering into the apartment, drunk.

"Yo ho ho!" Frank shouts, barely able to stand up straight.

Gerard sets his book down on the side table. "It's three in the morning."

_Shit, this is the last time I saw you._

Frank ignored Gerard's comment and started talking again. "Anyhoo, sweetie, I done a bad thing. I kinda, sorta...wrecked your car..."

_I __cannot__ believe you wrecked my car...your car..._

"You're driving drunk, it's pathetic," Gerard mumbled.

Frank frowned. "...Only a little. I was just tipsy, don't call me pathetic..."

"Well, it is pathetic! And irresponsible! You could've killed somebody!"

The scene around them starts to degrade, becoming fuzzy, breaking down around them.

"I don't know," Gerard continued, "Maybe you did kill somebody."

"Oh, Christ!," Frank shouted, "I didn't kill anybody! It's just a dent! You're like an old lady or something!"

"What are you like? A wino?"

"A wino? Jesus, are you from the fifties? A wino!" Frank laughs, dropping his coat to the floor. "Face it, Gerard. You're freaked out because I was out late without you, and in your little wormy brain, you're trying to figure out. _Did he fuck someone tonight_?"

Gerard scoffed, folding his arms over his chest. "No, see, Frank, I assume you fucked someone tonight. Isn't that how you get people to like you?"

That shut Frank up really quickly, he was hurt. He turns around and starts gathering up his belongings, which are strewn about the apartment. Gerard follows him around, feeling guilty. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I just...I was just pissed, I guess. I didn't mean it."

Frank does not say a word and walks out the door, Gerard following him. Gerard looks at his dented car, and then at Frank, who is clomping off into the distance. He quickly gets in the car and drives to catch up to Frank, rolling down the window to talk to him. "Let me drive you home."

"Fuck you, Gerard. Faggot." Frank did not even bother to turn around, he just kept walking, eyes staring firmly ahead.

"Look at it out here! It's falling apart! I'm erasing you and I'm happy about it!"

Frank kept clomping, pretending not to hear Gerard's words.

"You did it to me. I can't believe you did this to me. By morning, you'll be gone. Ha!" Gerard stops the car and gets out, hurrying after Frank.

The street looks like something you might see in a dream, an impression of a quiet street rather than an actual one. Gerard wanders, seeing Frank walking off in the distance. No matter how quickly Gerard walks, Frank doesn't get any farther away or any closer, everything is in a loop.

"See, remember that guy? The one we did last week? The one with the guitars?" Pete's voice can be heard, Gerard looks up, startled, having no idea who the voice belonged to.

"Yeah, that's this guy's boyfriend."

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment-During His Memory Erasing**

Ray is watching the screen as Pete paces the room, fidgets, looks at the unconscious Gerard.

"I gotta tell you something," Pete starts, "I kind of fell in love with him that night."

Ray looks at Pete with an eyebrow raised. "He was unconscious."

"He was beautiful. So sweet and funky and voluptuous. I kind of stole a pair of his underwear.."

Ray stops what he's doing and gazes, open-mouthed at Pete. "Jesus, Pete! What's wrong with you?"

* * *

**The Middle Of A Street, Gerard following Frank.**

In the middle of the vague street, Gerard listens to Ray and Pete, still confused about where the voices are coming from.

"I know. It's not like... I mean, they were clean and all."

"Look, man, just don't tell me this stuff. I don't want to know this shit."

Pete's voice sounds deflated, rejected. "Yeah, okay."

Ray clears his throat, trying to ease the tension. "We have a job to do."

There's a sudden click and Gerard finds himself in-

* * *

Gerard's Apartment, A Different Night

Gerard and Frank are sitting and eating dinner in front of the television, both on opposite ends of the couch. They look bored. Everything quickly degenerates, the room fades to black.

"Okay, but there's more," Pete's voice can still be heard, but only by Gerard. "After we did him, I went to where he worked and I asked him out."

Gerard looks over at the faded version of Frank across the couch. He's staring straight ahead at the television.

"Pete...do you know how unethical..."

_That must be the guy I saw you with in the guitar shop that day._

There's another click and Gerard is in-

* * *

**Gerard's Apartment, Another Night.**

Gerard sits on the couch, watching TV as Frank walks by in his underwear. He remembers this, remembers what happens next. Glancing at the TV, he slips on a pair of black pants.

"How can you watch this crap?

Gerard turns his gaze to Frank. "Where are you going?"

"I'm fucking crawling out of my skin; I gotta get out of here."

The scene begins to fade as Frank puts on his shoes and heads out the door, leaving Gerard immersed in darkness.


	10. Author's Note-Important!

Hello, readers!

I know I've taken ages to update and I'm truly sorry! I am continuing the story, so don't worry. However, I will not be updating on this site anymore, I will post all new chapters on AO3.

They can be found here:(archiveofourown . org)  /works/560178

I currently posted chapter 10, so go check it out and keep checking back weekly for new chapters ONLY ON AO3!

Thanks for reading!


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